So lately I've been thinking of my innate tendency towards sin. We as Christians have a glimpse of what its like to be holy. We have a small inkling of what its like to look into the very face of God... why because He exists within us. Yet this very glimpse of God, is sometimes our downfall..
We seem to think we are immune to sin, that "...something like that could never happen to me.." We ignore our conscience at times because we think we are better than others. We think we can withstand, withhold, that somehow having Christ in our lives makes us immune, some kind of super hero... and that has been my downfall, that has been my weakness.
Oh i know that i sin, thats the funny thing, but i still pretend that i don't, i still look down on those that have made "big mistakes".
Yet more and more each day i am realising, that i am so much closer to Satan than i am to God. Everything about me screams "unholy" i am truly i disgrace to creation, the only thing, ONLY THING that keeps me from being a little devil is God's grace. This seems so self-explanatory especially to someone who grew up in the church, but that is the problem i grew up in the church. So somehow i'm closer to God right? not at all, i push Him farther away because i think i'm closer to Him than i am.
To those who read this, maybe that doesn't make sense, but finally i have some clarity in my life, i am capable of anything, absolutely anything, i can feel Satan poking me at all times of the day... I am depraved, one hundred percent depraved.
Thankgoodness i have the Lord, He makes me even slightly acceptable to exist on the planet, without Him i am truly nothing and am so prone to sin its scary.
The closer i get to God, the further away i realise i am!
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